本文目錄一覽：

• 1、雅思作文修正 求高手點評！最好依據評分標準給出改正及進步的定見，謝謝! 立刻就要考試了 請越具體越好
• 2、雅思作文求修正（原題見圖）
• 3、新東方雅思pro作文修正多久返稿
• 4、小弟立刻要考雅思，因為榜首次，沒經歷，期望高手能幫修正一下作文。
• 5、雅思 作文 修正

雅思作文修正 求高手點評！最好依據評分標準給出改正及進步的定見，謝謝! 立刻就要考試了 請越具體越好

依據雅思大作文評分標準，你的詞匯運用和語法結構的精確性方面做的不錯，僅僅連接與聯接及上下文的照應方面有所短缺，個人認為能夠給6分，期望能夠幫到你，持續加油，必定沒問題的！

With the proliferation of English as a global language, increasing number of individuals are turning to learn English as their second language(此處改為second or foreign language為好，因為second language 和foreign language是有差異的，前者指的是除母語外的第二門言語，后者是除母語外的其它國的言語，如English關于法國人來說是second language而非foreign language,而關于中國人來講是foreign language，假如你還有自己的民族言語，那么它就可能是你的third or fourth language了).Some people believe that the merits of speaking English overweigh the demerits while other are holding a opposite cognition.(cognition這一詞匯用的太大了，cognition是認知，是言語學領域，此處改為while others hold the opposite opinion) Ideed(Indeed)，the spread of English can bring us(us指代不明，能夠去掉) astonishing impacts. (全體來講，榜首段仍是沒有明確指出你agree or disagree...，雅思的一條標準是回應標題要求，榜首段爽性些，My viewpoint is.../In my opinion,...開宗明義)

Initially,we can have great access to learn about the culture of a foreign country through speaking English(through speaking its native language---English). As you know(人稱必定共同，這個很重要，As we know),English is the most widely used language in the world. We can communicate with oversea people (in English)to know more about their country cilvilization(不是文明，改為文明，cultures,言語是文明的載體),by which （改為accordingly, ）we can treat them in a correct way respecting their culture(-s) and religions.(這一段仍是稍顯簡略了些，論據不行充沛，加一點比照成果效果更好：only by this, may we avoid making stupid mistakes due to misunderstanding of their cultures and thus we do know what to talk and what to do when communicating with its people.)

In addition,master （mastering,動名詞作主語）a English language （便是English）can also contribute to the national economy.For example,the prices of the labour in some Asian countries are low while it is really high in some Western countries .What's more,each country has its speacial product,which is unique and be well-liked.They can benefit from the trade amomg the world.（這一段有點亂，觀念論據都不杰出，你認為勞動力價值的表現僅僅因為沒有掌握好英語嗎？不如改為：In addition, mastering English can also boost the learners' national economy. For example, if we learn English well, we may cooperate more closely with western developed countries in all walks of life to obtain what we want, either funds or techniques. ）

Lastly(Lastly but not least, 最終但并不是最不重要的一點)，it can boost social stability and harmony with the ability of using English.If we can master English as our native language，we can know deeply about events and policy in different countries.(個人認為學好英語對國內社會安穩和調和并無顯著效果，它的效果在于和國外的調和和溝通)The further understanding of foreign countries can be advantageous to both authorities and individuals in the field of（in就能夠了，自身這句話就太長了，簡略一些） maintaining relationship with different regions and improving living standard（-s）through （bilateral）business trade.

In conclusion，learning English can provide people overwhelming (這個詞有些夸大，究竟你前面并沒有給出相照應的overwhelming..)number of benefits.（Undoubtedly, we can benefit a lot from English learning, as we can see above. ）(However,聯接詞匯, it's easier said than done. In view to this, constructive measures have to be done by the government.) In my point of view, The government should improve the schooling system of English learning in the field of communication to ensure our spoken English can keep pace with our written English.(最終一句話就沒有照應本文宗旨，宗旨是英語作為世界性言語推行的優點而不是重點在白話，假如你想偏重點在spoken, 那么前面必定要有所提及，不然此處顯得冒失，你覺得呢？其實最終一句話能夠改為政府應該有所作為，加大英語教育的投入和力度，防止英語作為應試教育的犧牲品，你也知道，現在我們學習英語大多為了敷衍考試，而非實踐使用。所以，The government should improve the schooling system of English learning particularly in Spoken and Written aspects and should try not to make the English learning the victim of exam-oriented education。)

雅思作文求修正（原題見圖）

我成你御用的了。。。。

榜首段筆誤吧？in four 吧？

youth當青少年講的時分是名詞，可數，用復數把，youths。

in both Australia as well as the UK.both 和as well as ?是一個意思哈，把both去了，或許把as well as 換成and。

there are more than 30 percent of children’s pocket money goes for that. ?going for。你這句又動詞are了，后邊就不能在用動詞的一般現在時，只能用ing或許ved做壯語（不是狀語別噴我啊，初高中現已離我很遠了。有點小忘掉。。）。。。

Besides,food, as a basic element in daily life, following by toys as a second one that young generations are willing to purchase.這句沒謂語呢，親。。。。你想說food ?成果重心又跑到toy上去了。。。。。

money不可數，謂語用奇數哈。。。

consume。consuming

which前面又逗號，歸于非限制性定語從句，它用于潤飾逗號前的語句，你第二段最終的那個定于從句想說啥子呀，我有點沒看懂。

a large consume essential area。你想潤飾area，用了1個adj＋1個動詞＋再加1個adj，好紊亂呀。。。。

不要aspect，有點剩余啦。

收工。。。。。

新東方雅思pro作文修正多久返稿

新東方雅思pro作文修正7日內返稿。作文修正完成后7天，學員未提出異議，默許供認修正質量，退款時正常扣費。新東方雅思，新東方開設的雅思相關訓練課程，有線上，線下兩種課程，新東方雅思針對不同的學員開設不同的課程，課程包含IELTS預備班，IELTS等。

小弟立刻要考雅思，因為榜首次，沒經歷，期望高手能幫修正一下作文。

我水平也不高,不能說修正,但我覺得你這個文章跟從前我教師給我批過的差不多,我估量6分能夠了,我必定不能把問題全說出來,就說我看出來的吧.

榜首,最要害的一點,雅思作文絕對不能寫縮寫,比方你寫的etc shouldn't can't isn't 太多了 必定要改

第二,文章虎頭蛇尾,自己的觀念表達的不明晰,榜首段能夠不必那么多篇幅寫孩子被逼學外語的現象,用一兩句話或許一個大長句說一下就能夠了,而結束段自己的觀念歸于不置可否型的,這樣欠好,你的觀念必定要明晰,能夠有退讓,但堅持哪一方便是哪一方,不能說孩子小的時分要逼迫學外語,長大了再自己挑選.我主張這篇文章,就說讓孩子憑著自己的愛好去學.(這部分是學生的個人主張,樓主能夠挑選性疏忽(*^__^*) )

第三,文章的部分詞匯能夠換成同義,但高檔一點的,比方more and more,能夠換a increasing number of, think能夠換maintain之類

第四,文章最終一句,最好不要以勸說,感嘆類的語句作為結束,雅思文章議論文方式,必定要客觀,不帶愛情顏色.

樓主你的文采非常好,復句使用也很嫻熟,完全能夠到達7分水平,加油!祝你考試獲得高分

雅思 作文 修正

雅思作文要求：

1. 精確：用詞挑選，時刻描繪等，這是言語的基本要求，所需求的基本功是關于議論文審題的精確掌握，其實是個思想水平的問題，要求調查日子，了解日子！

2. 連接，流通，通暢：相關詞，句，乃至相關段的使用（文連）和內容的連接，照應（意連）。

3. 新穎，生動，地道：主從句的使用（尤其是定語從句），經典句式的表達。

4. 精粹：非謂語動詞，with的復合結構，獨立主格結構，倒裝，虛擬語氣的使用。這一點最難能可貴，現在現行的雅思教材和訓練很少觸及這一要求，認為文章長難句多，得分就高，其實文章的老到老練主要就表現在要言不煩，微言大意之上！言語最大的特點是樸素天然，恰到優點，決不糟蹋翰墨！

我覺得你用詞太僵硬了吧，好像是硬拼在一起的。我覺得用詞天然就好，不要總是找那些不流暢詞兒。以下供參閱，不當之處自己在修正一下吧。

The specification of happiness differs with one's perspective. Some individuals just deem managing to help the people around who are in need as their lofty pleasure. By contrast, some others assert that minor affairs are not able to generate the happiness that one longs for pursuing while business success, academic prestige, or political reputation may probably be regarded as their biggest passion in life.

but for me,there are only 3things come into my mind.Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, and a good digestion.Someone said that the ideal life is to live in an English country home, engage a Chinese cook, marry a

Japanese wife, and take a French mistress..Most of the happiness in this world consists of possessing what others can’t get.

Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product.so,if ur aim is to be a happy person like me ,i think u just need to do the two steps.

Happiness is good health plus a bad memory.Everyday is a gift.I feel happy. I have only two hands, but I have two pairs of gloves.How beautifully everything is arranged by Nature; as soon as a child enters the world,it finds a mother

ready to take care of it.I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes --- until I met a man who had no feet.To sum it up,u have to optimistic.

but it's not enough,you guys have to enjoy the life.Yse. Don’t postpone joy.No man is a failure who is enjoying life.Enjoy life, this is not a dress rehearsal.The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.We should hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. The worst result is that we can’t get out of the

world alive.

If you get my point,your life will find is not hard to get a happy and easy life.

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